My Story My Testimony :Infidelity and Forgiveness
Greetings my brother and sisters in Christ. I am here to share my testimony and I really hope and pray it will help someone. I do not want to ramble on so I will try and make it short. I believe that it is every woman's nightmare to find out that the person that you trusted the most is the one who will put a knife in your heart and twist it so deep that you will cry so hard until your eyes can't cry no more.Everything seemed fine in our marriage but in the twelfth year, I stumbled upon a truth that deeply shattered my world. A truth hidden in the shadows of deceit and betrayal. I found out that my husband was having an affair and he had already started a new family with someone else. His cell phone was full of messages, videos, pictures to cause me so much heartache and pain. Messages filled with promises leading to the revelation that he had chosen another woman, it may seem like a cliché but it was a younger, beautiful woman and their son and he was leaving me that very month.
The heartache was an indescribable ache, a lot of feelings and emotions took me by surprise.The disappointment, hurt, hate, anger and pain flooding every corner of my being. It hurt so much that my husband destroyed our love and our vows meant nothing to him. I remember going into a trance seeing images of blocks of our vows crumbling down like a wall to the ground as I dealt with the harsh reality of infidelity. It wasn't the why he cheated, it was how could he have cheated that hurt so much.Confronting my husband about his cheating was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I had found evidence of his affair, and when I confronted him, he didn't deny it. He admitted everything, and there was no remorse nor shame in his eyes. He made the decision to leave immediately that same day, he packed his things and moved out, leaving me and our two children without any hesitation or second thoughts. Again my question was how could he do this to us, his family? It was a painful and shocking moment for my children and I. I felt a mix of anger, betrayal, and deep sadness. My heart ached, and I was worried about how our children would handle this sudden change. They were confused and hurt, and it broke my heart to see them go through this. In my despair, I entered a rebellion stage, seeking solace in ungodly pursuits to numb the hurt.
After my husband left, I was overwhelmed with anger and a deep sense of betrayal. The pain of his infidelity and sudden departure was too much to bear. In my anger and rebellion, I did things that I’m not proud of. At first, I isolated myself from friends and family, refusing their offers of support,I was so ashamed and blamed myself. I kept asking if there was something I could have done, if I had looked after my body, if I had worked less, if I had cooked more, If I had done something to stop him form cheating. I was consumed by my hurt and resentment, and I didn’t want anyone to see how broken I felt. I thought I could handle everything on my own, but this only made me feel more alone. In an attempt to numb the pain, I turned to unhealthy habits. I started going out frequently, dressing in shockingly disgusting clothes, staying out late, and drinking alcohol for the first time ever and now it was the new normal as I was slowly becoming an alcoholic. I could not realise the woman in the mirror. I was trying to escape my reality, but these actions only led to more regret and guilt. I neglected my responsibilities at home, and my children could sense the change in me. They needed stability and reassurance, but I was too caught up in my own turmoil to provide it.
I also said hurtful things to those who cared about me, pushing them away in my rage. I lashed out at friends and family, unable to contain my frustration and anger. My relationship with God was very distant as well; I was too angry to pray and too hurt to find comfort in my faith. It took time, but I eventually realized that my actions were only causing more harm to myself and those around me. Dark days came, and bitterness took over my heart. I drifted away from the strong faith I once had.But in the depths of my brokenness, the Holy Spirit met me at my lowest, whispering words of comfort and love that cut through the darkness to save me.
I began my healing journey, clinging to the promises laid out in the Scriptures. Psalm 34:18 became my anchor: "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." In prayer, I poured out my pain, surrendering my broken heart to a God who understood the hurt and pain I was going through. Don't get me wrong, there were times I wanted to get give up, the memories of the pain caused would come back and haunt me but I was tired of being that person who was always angry, bitter and broken.Enough was enough. Step by step, I threw myself in the Word of God, finding strength in passages like Isaiah 41:10: "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." These words became a soothing balm to my wounded soul.I journaled everything I was feeling and learning and when I felt low I would go re-read previous days for encouragement and re-focus. During the days I couldn't find the words to pray, I listened to the audio bible and praise and worship songs. Even now I still do this.
After I decided to get on my healing on, I went back to my home, the CHURCH. When I tell you my brothers and sisters that in that dark time of my life, this was my safe haven, a place that I could go and I received no judgement but an overwhelming sense of love and peace from my church family.Within my church community, I discovered the power of forgiveness, not for my ex- husband alone but for myself as well Colossians 3:13: "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." It was a tough road, but I chose to release the burden of resentment than to carry a load of bitterness.
As I worked through my pain, I decided to volunteer in my church and do service and outreach, I found purpose beyond my pain. James 1:2-4 reminded me, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
I was talking to strangers and telling them my story, I was helping them heal as they were helping me heal. Today, my heart has been transformed. The scars remain, but they are a testament to the healing grace of a loving God. My relationship with Him thrives, stronger than before. I've become a living testament to Romans 8:28: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
Forgiving my ex-husband was a challenging journey, but it brought immense healing and peace into my life. It wasn’t easy to let go of the past, but through prayer, support from my church community, and the guidance of God's Word, Prayer and spending time with God, I found the strength to forgive. As Ephesians 4:32 reminds us, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." By choosing forgiveness, I freed myself from bitterness and opened the door to a healthier relationship for the sake of our children. Today, we co-parent with respect and understanding, putting our children's well-being first. Our ability to cooperate and support each other has created a stable and loving environment for our kids, proving that forgiveness, grounded in faith and prayer, can lead to positive, transformative changes.
Today, my relationship with God is not just a comfort; it's a lively, growing connection that influences everything I do. Isaiah 43:19 sums up my experience: "Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?" Despite the pain of my past, God brought about a beautiful redemption, creating a new story filled with joy, purpose, and strong faith.
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Wow this is a tough one
To be able to forgive and let go of resentment is not something you can do alone. That’s why to always pray for the Holy Spirit to dwell in you and surrounding yourself with good people
This is a great testimony